UnExpected: Sleep? What’s sleep?

*Everyone says, “You’d better get sleep now, before the baby comes!”  We laugh appreciatively and ignorantly, making sleep promises we don’t fulfill.  Why don’t they grab us by the shoulders, stare meaningfully into our eyes and tell us that it will be like pulling 3 consecutive years of all-nighters in college, but as a 90-year old.  They should tell you that infant-induced sleep deprivation needs its own warning label:

May cause headaches, dark eye circles and behavior considered vengeful, murderous and sometimes toddler-like.  Do not operate heavy machinery while on Infant Sleep Deprivation.  If symptoms worsen…too bad, there is no way to counter the effects of Infant Sleep Deprivation.

Then they should slap you across the face.  Twice.

That might actually get the message across to those blissfully ignorant, pregnant couples.  Who are staying up way too late.  And getting up way too early.

**On a related note:  I did not expect to be so tired I would fall asleep while nursing and Twittering at the same time.

Which also resulted in my accidentally “following” an ex-boyfriend that I was stalking during a late-night nursing session.  Someone with whom I actually hadn’t had any communication with in several years.  Awkward.  (Don’t judge, you know you Social Network Stalk too.  And he has funny tweets!)  I went ahead and “unfollowed” him as soon as I woke up and saw where my finger had landed on the iPhone, yet knew full well that whenever someone follows you there is an email sent.  I broke into a sweat and prayed that he wouldn’t recognize my married name…and my profile picture.

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6 thoughts on “UnExpected: Sleep? What’s sleep?

  1. Ha! I wonder if I can blame infant sleep deprivation on the Twitter follow I got yesterday from MY EX-HUSBAND. Considering I don’t think he has kids…I’m guessing not.

    • Hehe. Since we can potentially rule out ISD (Infant Sleep Deprivation) it may have been a form of Male Stupidity. The one where they regret stupid decisions they’ve made.

    • You’re welcome! Nothing like a tired mum to appreciate this humor. This irony of this post was that I put the baby back down for the millionth time around 1 a.m., had this blog idea in my head, sat down and typed it off, thinking I would get *some* sleep after I went back to bed. The baby woke up 2 minutes after I crawled into bed and was wide awak until 3:15…and then on and off. I don’t think I had a morning either. In fact, it may still be Tuesday by my time.

  2. You are a very talented writer! I can totally identify with you on many levels – my 20 mo daughter still has issues from time to time with sleeping (teething? nightmares? who knows?) AND yes, I do social media stalk an ex or two. Hey, it’s always a mood-lifter to see how much better off that I am with my life :)

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